Hey, It's Vlad. So, I've been sorting through another sack of fan mail.
Great questions, although I'm convinced a few of you are writing these while unsupervised in a padded room. Let's dive in
First up, from Carl M. in Des Moines, lowa.
"Dear Vlad, are foxes just cats pretending to be dogs or dogs pretending to be cats?"
Carl, buddy... we're foxes. We're neither. We are the perfect middle ground. We purr but we also dig holes in your yard. Foxes are canids so we are more closely related to domesticated dogs...however we are a bit cat curious.
Then we've got Kevin B. in Newark, New Jersey.
"Yo Vlad, I heard foxes can teleport. Is this true? One minute I see a fox, then boom…..gone."
Kevin, that's called walking into the bushes. We're sneaky, not Marvel superheroes. But I appreciate the vote of confidence. Maybe next time
I'll poof away in a cloud of glitter just to keep the legend alive.
Next up, Sandy L. in Buffalo, New York
"Do foxes make good house pets?"
Sandy, if by "good house pet" you mean decorates your couch with fur before eating it, steals your socks, often pees in your shoes and has a natural aroma that I will politely call "interesting" then YES...The best.
Otherwise, maybe stick with a hamster.
From Jacob W. in Boise, Idaho
"Do foxes really make all those weird sounds on YouTube?"
Jacob, oh yes. We've got over 40 different vocalizations... barks, yips, screams, you name it. That bloodcurdling scream you hear at 2 a.m.?
Not Bigfoot. Just us foxes having an intense conversation about who stole the last hot dog.
And finally, from "Princess Moonbeam"...in an undisclosed location (the envelope smelled strongly of a substance illegal in some places)
"Dearest Vlad, I know you are the rightful King of All Foxes. My hedgehog whispers your name at night. Please accept this macaroni portrait I made of you. Do you like elbow noodles or shells better?"
Moonbeam, thanks for the art. It's a lumpy. And possibly still wet. But yes, I accept the crown of King of Foxes. My first royal decree...ice cream at every meal. Also, you might consider some therapy for your hedgehog.
Keep those letters coming!
Vlad out.