First of all, relax. You're not having a stroke, and there's no brain-eating amoeba gnawing on your oculomotor nerve.

That double vision you're experiencing isn't strabismus... it's just Alexei and Valentine, two of our fabulous new rescues from Russia.

There's actually a third cross fox, Anya, who managed to dodge the camera like a furry international spy. And to round out the new crew, we've also welcomed Millie, a stunning platinum fox who looks like she belongs on the cover of a fashion magazine.

You may have already heard about the perilous journey they had getting to the USA. It was not exactly first class. The story really could be adapted into a screenplay. I can't go into all the details as I don't want to create an international diplomatic incident, but it was almost as if they needed to be removed from Russia under cover of darkness hidden in a box of borscht. Things then just went from bad to worse when their layover got dramatically canceled when Iran decided to lob missiles at Qatar...which, inconveniently, was where their flight was supposed to connect. It just went downhill from there.

The good news is when they finally arrived, they were bright eyed and bushy tailed and in good spirits.

So now, I find myself with not one, not two, but three potential body doubles. I usually do my own stunts, of course, I'm nothing if not committed to my craft, but I may be becoming too valuable to risk in high-impact scenes, like "getting up before & AM" or "standing on gravel." Thankfully, these newcomers seem eager to help... and while they're not quite as handsome as I am, I'm sure some tasteful editing and flattering lighting can bridge the gap.

Vlad out.